@hipstermermaid: Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV.
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@skitzoette: Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead.
@lisaxy424: I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus.
@Sarcasticsapien: If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online.