@itshotterhere: *calls you by wrong name in bed, blames autocorrect*
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@adamhess1: Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.
@HomeProbably: My girlfriend said I never do anything to help so I hid her phone. I'll prove her wrong when I find it.
@ChrisHallbeck: An audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised “Oh, out loud?” right at the end.