@Book_Krazy: Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch
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@kelkulus: Until you've tried to start a conga line at a funeral, don't tell me about your drinking problem.
@ruinedpicnic: me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that
@stonedcoldlazy: Things I've learned on Twitter: 1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink 2. Naps rule 3. Pants are optional 4. Everybody hates Nickelback