@Darlainky: Calm down with that charm bracelet, lady. Every time you move your hand I look around for Santa's sleigh.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
@RocketRankoon: [picks up date] *slides over hood of car* *slides off car onto another car* *slides off that one onto another car* *date looks at her watch*