@figgled: Can everyone please stop tweeting the clapping emoji it’s making all my lights turn on and off
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@Kyle_Lippert: NOAH'S GOOGLE HISTORY 1) What is an ark? 2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark? 4) Are snakes necessary? 5) Is god real or am I high?
@GinAndJif: A guy just revved his engine and drove off really quick so I had to chase him for three miles to tell him I don't want to have sex with him.
@Petote: My fish makes so much noise during the night that I wake up six times a night to ask him if we are fighting