@mydmac: Can I get a piña colada please.
'This is Starbucks'
Sorry, can I have venti piña colada.
@rz0ndy: My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table.
That's all the DNA test I need.
@BlindVigil: I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test.
It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do...
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade
@Eightinchgoat: If a douchebag bungee jumps is it called a Bro-Yo?
@monks_19: If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, let me sit for 15-30 secs, plug me back in and see if that works.