@noneofyours99: Can you guess which dog isn't falling for the "worm pill" wrapped in bacon ?
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@TheHyyyype: CONDUCTOR: all aboard! ME: i'm pretty bored CONDUCTOR: no, i meant everyone on the train ME: oh, i'm sure they're bored too
@truegritrumble: ME: If I go to bed now, I'll be rested for the big meeting tomorrow. INSOMNIA: The world is just waiting for you to start a blog.
@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
@jessokfine: [Sexting] "So, what are you wearing?" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes.