@michael_raphone: "Can you make me look like this?" *shows hairdresser a picture of fire*
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@SteveSuckington: Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either.
@SortaBad: *looks at selfie* "Hmmm I need more flattering lighting" *tries again inside an unlit abandoned coal mine* "ahhh much better"
@lawyerthoughts: If your entire outfit can be purchased at a gas station it's not appropriate for court.
@McGrumpenstein: Garfunkel: There's must be 49 ways to leave a lover Simon: I think it's closer to 50 Garfunkel mumbles angrily: ...49 ways to kill your singing partner