@cornlog: Canada has crack?
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@JoshuaHvr: This is your brain- *holds out egg* This is your brain on drugs- *puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*
@dinokitten: [at Chinese restaurant] "Hi I'll have a large goingon" -What is goingon? "Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"
@thesulk: Just picked up an unknown call with a "Hello?" An old woman said "Joan?" So, I can cross "mistaken for a Joan" off the bucket list.
@AaronFullerton: Doctor: "I'm sorry, sir, but you have an STD. I suggest you make a list of all your partners--" Lou Bega: "Way ahead of you."