@good2go013: Canada has seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
[super hero appears]
GUY: It's Doesn't-Understand-Rhetorical-Questions Man. Boy, am I glad to see you!
HERO: I...I don't know
@Kyle_Lippert: Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze it's like a little party on your face.
@EmoPhilips: My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
@doktorj: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie.
Partly because I walk around with a bullwhip, but mostly because of all the cobwebs.
@Bacon_Ball: Twitter was down for a couple of hours but I didn't panic at all. I dialed 911 and calmly told them "people are about to die". Then Hung up.