@davedittell: can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old.
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@DistractedMomma: Can one of you please tell my ex husband that I died? I feel like it would be more believable coming from someone other than me.
@sixthformpoet: If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world.
@livingnBoston: NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?