@genepompa: Can't believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up
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@noog: [white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*
@TwiCarlyGleeber: Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one
@AristotlesNZ: Old Testament: Death, plagues, vengeance New Testament: Forgiveness, love, wants you to call home Having a kid really mellowed God out.
@hipstermermaid: "500 Days of Summer" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming.