@genepompa: Can't believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up
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@dafloydsta: [death row] GUARD: Ok, here's your last meal. Bon appétit. CAT: *slowly pushes meal off table*
@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.
@_UltimateTwit: Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps. Freaks her husband out though.