@genepompa: Can't believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up
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@Brampersandon_: [Mom]: My son's voice is changing [Dr.]: Thats normal at his age [Mom]: This is normal? *fax machine noises are coming from the kid's mouth*
@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.
@Ristolable: 100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move.