@patrickhogan91: Can't get a woman? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".
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@SocialustGal13: I don't hate you. Hate is such a strong word. I just want to tickle your brain with this ice pick.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
@justabloodygame: [throwing a party] I invited Judas. That okay? "Judas from IT, or the guy who betrayed Jesu-" *loud knock* "It's the Roman legion. Open up!"