@1followernodad: Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal.
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@Playing_Dad: "Daddy, why is it dark at night?" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny.
@tastefactory: My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight.
@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.