@1followernodad: Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal.
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@Liber_what: Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too
@AimeeHelene1: *seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*
@P0tterhead_394: "You have a very large package downstairs." I really need to work on how I word things to the men around this office.