@junejuly12: Can't wait to watch the complex manoeuvres that will follow taking the first bite of a corn dog in the middle.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [cats at shelter] Where's Frank? "Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."
@Book_Krazy: New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT
@Miltgen: *Job interview* "Im gonna need you to pee in this cup" *hands boss full cup* "Let's start the interview" *boss just sips it the whole time*
@Home_Halfway: I really want to rent a hot air balloon. Or at least a moderately attractive air balloon with a great personality.