@awescar: Captain America outsources much of his crime fighting to Captain India.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal
@Hormonella: Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle.
@Not_a_JesusGirl: There is nothing funnier than yelling "SHE'S STEALING MY BABY!" at a mom having a hard time with her kid in public.