@AristotlesNZ: Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
@IamEveryDayPpl: My neighbors started Christmas decorating right after they ran out of Halloween candy so I called the police.
@Reverend_Scott: *Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"
@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.