@AristotlesNZ: Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull.
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@LuvPug: If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger
@velvettusk: ♫ Hey cow You're an all star You are grain fed No hay Hey cow You are ground down Graded U.S. D.A. ♫
@Reverend_Scott: Before you reply to a tweet, take a deep breath. Now hold it. Hold it... Hold it.... Hold it... Keep holding it... Die.
@living_marble: "Go to hell" is so abstract. "Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months." Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying.