@AristotlesNZ: Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull.
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@KimmyMonte: A burrito.. in a bowl? Sure that sounds great! And while you're at it, why don't you rip the blankets off me while I sleep, u piece of shit
@AndyAsAdjective: *accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*
@conanobrienswyf: All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun.
@jen_says_nah: If you love something set it free, if it stays its yours Go on then pizza, leave! Get outta here..... *pizza stays *happy tears