@IGotsSmarts: "Careful, there's poop on the dance floor." - how ballet was invented.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over back shoulder* *puts car in reverse* Wife: OH MY GOD *slams brakes* Me: WHAT? Wife: Becky just posted the cutest picture
@better_off_dad: I could tell by her screams this was not the kind of friendship that included showers.
@on_the_fritz_17: "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is beautiful to hear in a children's classroom - but not at the site of a plane crash.