@IGotsSmarts: "Careful, there's poop on the dance floor." - how ballet was invented.
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@Shade510: Me 5pm: Need to go easy on the booze tonight, have to function tomorrow. Me 1am: *twerking in a Denny's parking lot.
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@LackOfShame: Her: Something's changed in here. Me: I put a new bulb in. Her: Well it's not very bright Bulb: Okay wow I'm like right here.
@LukeMones: Just saw an old lady give up her seat to another old lady on the subway...polite or the ultimate shade?