@Henry_3k: Carefully choosing my grocery check out line based on the back of who's head I want to beam hate into for the next 15 minutes.
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@rachellinfox: When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions.
@caliluvgirl77: [first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now.
@DamienFahey: I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."