@slimmy_shady: CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks.
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@BradBroaddus: ME: I want to take long walks with you. HER: Aww...are you a romantic? ME: No, I don't have a car.
@HairyJew4Life: Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?
@pixelatedboat: Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours