@audipenny: *carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
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@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.
@Duke1173: As I get older and continue to meet new people... I realize that swallowing should be more of a thing.