@omgthatspunny: Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy.
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@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.
@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.
@toomanytoes: I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument.