@BoscoPorter: Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of shit?"
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@ericsshadow: How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
@AmberTozer: If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me
@AnOrangeSNES: Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar
@T_Bonezzz_: "One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service" - Abraham LinkedIn