@BoscoPorter: Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of shit?"
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@Jeffwni: Skeletor: Nice ride He-Man: Thanks Skeletor: Prince Adam has a pet tiger too He-Man: Yeah? Complete different guy though
@HuajatollaChic: At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog.
@Heartblakekid15: Roommate: hey blake I just bought this whiskey wanna explain why it's half empty? Me: cause you're a pessimist!