@thatRamosgirl: Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
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@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@Jandalize: There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.
@hell_homer: deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio
@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.