@TidBox: Cats love it when you give them a mohawk
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@ehchino: [first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous "That's okay" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*
@jimmy_sharpe: Ever accidentally say 'I love you' to important business customers on the phone? Me too. I MEAN ME NEITHER.
@PaperWash: me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived