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@TidBox: Cats love it when you give them a mohawk
@calluptome: If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
@WilliamAder: Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over.
@Dildo_Hitler: *sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart*
"hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?"
"YES. AISLE B, BACK"
@imskytrash: screw you
@dreamthievin: One time I swallowed an entire box of Alphabits whole and the only thing I pooped out was the lyrics to a Nicki Minaj song