@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!
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@MarfSalvador: [Party] Her: *Nervous* I don't know anybody Him: It's ok I'll introduce you *into mic* hailing from Detroit & weighing in at I dunno 180lb
@TCsSideBitch: *standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead
@BangMyBongo: Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children