@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!
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@liv_thatsme: "Don't you wish you had children?" Me: Don't you wish you had money, free time, & sanity?
@IAmKatieOrr: I wonder if both Wright Brothers were behind their inventions, or it was just one & their mother yelling "Wilbur, you include your brother!"
@Wine_Charmer: You found a baby spider in here? -Yeah, but only one. *Googles avg # of spiders hatched* *eyes widen* Just. One? [Never. Sleeps. Again.]