@AlexvanBeek: Cats that run under your legs display the same genius as someone walking into traffic.
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@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.
@animaldrumss: Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive.
@Try2StopME: Interviewer: "So why should we hire you?" Me: "Cause I need a job very badly." Interviewer: "So?" Me: "And you have a vacancy. BINGO"
@Schmoodles: My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.