@lanyardtwerk: Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep.
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@Cpin42: Umm..I don’t want to be “that inmate,” but could you tell the chef that this needs more salt.
@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.
@iwearaonesie: wife [gives me piece of fruit] Try this me: Tastes like hand sanitizer wife: Did you just use hand sanitizer? me: Yeah wife me wife me: Why?