@AlisonAgosti: Cauliflower is just ghost broccoli.
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@krautsider: If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome.
@XplodingUnicorn: Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*
@Genevieve0404: "Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest." Britney Spears whispers, "Amateur."