@fro_vo: *caveman discovers weed*
*caveman invents fire*
*stone age begins*
@BoomBoomBetty: Sure you look forward to the day your kids are independent adults and living on their own, but it’s a double edged sword because then it becomes even harder to avoid talking to your husband.
@AbbyHasIssues: Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
@YoungNobler: Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien.
@JennInTheCorner: Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the "banana phone".
@youngestneil: My extra sensitive toothpaste cries when I don't brush my teeth