@fro_vo: *caveman discovers weed*
*caveman invents fire*
*stone age begins*
@Smooheed: Bad hair day 429: I no longer look as though I've been electrocuted, but the birds, so, so many birds
@AdamTheLobster: This may be racist but whenever I have a test in class I try to get a seat next to a dolphin because they are usually really smart.
@InternetHippo: [fingers tented under chin]
What can I tweet that won't make people yell at me
[brick flies through my window]
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
@peachesanscream: My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree.