@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.
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@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES.
@truegritrumble: MURDERER: *while murdering me* I feel like you're not taking this seriously. ME: *eating a Belgian waffle* Wut?