@9GAG: Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.
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@Douchekevin: Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race.
@JohnLyonTweets: Hope you enjoy my new song, "Part of This Song's Title Is in Parentheses (For No Reason)."
@awescar: *rips finished page from adult coloring book* *puts it on daughter's toy kitchen fridge*