@Paxochka: Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
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@NikiWithIssues: I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!
@UniqueDude2: WAITER: Your honor, when I said "enjoy your meal" he said "you too" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too