@sixthformpoet: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him.
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@radtoria: OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]
@jonnysun: INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if… wat if water was mor like sandwich
@SteveKoehler22: When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us.
@LizHackett: I attempted smoky eye makeup for a holiday party tonight, but instead it looks like I survived a bar fight, so I'm going with that story.