@Chumpstring: Children look up to me. They say “Hey mister why are ya sleepin in that tree?”
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@LindaInDisguise: Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza.
@Slims_Ramblings: "Hey look, there's a deer frolicking in the woods over there!" Deer: What the hell did you say I was doing?
@SuperApple8: If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated.
@imabbylouise: I have nothing in common with people that say, "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."