@donni: Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.
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@bridger_w: In time, the dust settled, and the dust took a job it hated and married someone it could barely tolerate
@ShesARealGenius: Lol how "take you out" could mean either we're going on a date or I'm gonna kill you.
@Robert_Beau: I'm already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I've given the bird to lots of people today.
@flashember: [Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body