@donni: Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.
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@lecalabara: "The 59th rule of Fight Club is, we cant park in the lot on Vermont anymore - The owner is being a jerk. Just find street parking. 60th..."
@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me
@MarfSalvador: [Watching the sunset over Paris] BF: My darling *goes down on one knee* GF: OH MY GOD!! BF: THIS is how I proposed to my last girlfriend
@sofarrsogud: My son was like 'I got a D in my maths' and I was like 'That's really bad' and my wife was like 'you need to stop doing his homework'.