@michamontaz: Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
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@chimneyspotter: DATE: Ooh, such long fingers ME: Yeah, know what other long body part I have? D: I have an idea *sexy wink* M: My intestines are about 30ft
@ericsshadow: One time I fell off a 20ft ladder, then climbed right back up and jumped off a second time to show that ladder who's in charge.
@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.
@EllDavey: I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not.