@kellysdf: Christmas cards are how old people say, "Hey, you thought I was dead, but I'm not!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tastefactory: LOVED ONES: When I die, I want you to throw a sad party where you all look at my dead body US, FOR SOME REASON: Ok that's no problem
@Ideal_Victoria: The older I get, the more I relate to those angry elderly people who go around biting others.
@FilthyRichmond: Parenting tip: Unplug the microwave before dropping acid because you'll inevitably put the baby in there for safe keeping.
@ghostkrogh: mob boss: stick his body in the compost pile me: wha mob boss (grabbing my collar intently): we might be killers, but u only got one earth