@Sarcasmo718: C'mon guys, just 50 more likes and her father will love her.
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@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
@c_gawker: if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world
@donni: Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now