@Sarcasmo718: C'mon guys, just 50 more likes and her father will love her.
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@boring_as_heck: [mysterious old lady flips tarot card revealing a dude who looks exactly like me flying a hot air balloon into power lines] Me: is that good
@LittlestSlobo: The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you're fighting with your brother.
@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!