@WilliamAder: Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@2tickytacky: OMG. My wife's boyfriend made such a fuss when I told his parents at dinner about how noisy those two are in bed.
@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week
@CoopSoSarc: Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
@abbycohenwl: Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic