@brandonleecool: Coca-cola should make a Coca-cola flavored candy cane and call it a Coke Cane.
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@Ms_WhateverV: A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus.
@TheDairylandDon: Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental.
@Book_Krazy: 9: Mom, why are all those girls standing on their tiptoes? Me: Because they're ballet dancers 9: Why didn't they just get taller girls?