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@RobDenBleyker: "Come reckon with me bro."
@novicefather: I just steam cleaned my carpets and wondered how difficult a homicide would be to clean up.
@sara_ashlynn: My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful.
@pradacid: “shake what ya momma gave ya!”
*starts shaking low self-esteem*
@WeissBrandon: I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with.
@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.