@ojedge: [1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: "How's your meal?" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]

@PastorBate: [Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome "Can you use it in a sentence?" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog.

@SnizzleFrizzle: Dude on tv just said, "Where there's fat, there's flavor." He was talking about food, but I took it as a compliment.

@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: I am your father. Rey: We're roughly the same age. You're just copying everything Vader said. Kylo Ren: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

@DaveTheAlbino: The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me.