"I'm tired of fruits that taste good."
@eliserose5: I'm 5'3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality....disorder.
@DanMentos: judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison
my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence
@The_MartiniGirl: Find someone to make you laugh everyday and if that doesn't work find alcohol like I did.
"You have to get good grades"
KID: But it's so hard!
"We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese"
KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing
@scenesfromahat: As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.