"I'm tired of fruits that taste good."
@3sunzzz: Therapist: Are you a man or a mouse?
Mickey: Quite frankly, I was hoping you could tell me.
@robdelaney: Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units.
@ericsshadow: My wedding anniversary is next week. Does anyone have an idea for a gift that conveys the sentiment 'our love is priceless' for under $75?
@amfmpm: dry skin? flaky scalp?
tongue bifurcating all by itself?
hissing? legs fusing together?
recently evicted a gypsy?
@jergarl: I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers.