"I'm tired of fruits that taste good."
@HRTSMRT: My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
@ryangriffiths: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".
@SortaBad: *loses faith in humanity*
"this is the type of problem that can only be solved by 13 photos of unlikely animal friendships"
@ericacanrant: 911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!
@GreenSmoke_: If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me.