@KarenKilgariff: compared to the rest of 2017 the Fyre Festival was a high point
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@MichaelTrying: Top 3 screwdrivers: 1. Tool for turning screws 2. Vodka and orange juice 3. Method of Uber payment
@rockymomax: HIM: the first rule of fight club is never talk about fight club ME: but we’re talking about it now HIM: I mean like to your friends ME: were not friends? HIM: I mean kinda but- ME: *crying* this hurts worse than getting punched
@Juststopkate: Some days I feel like my life is going super well, & then I get my hair caught in my umbrella. And also my car door.
@poutinesmoothie: If you lean back in a chair and put your feet up on the desk, everything you say will be beaming with confidence and bravado especially if it’s not your office.