@dankmtl: Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!
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@lovemydogduck: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
@TommyWallace: "Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil's avocado sometimes" Teacher: devil's advocate? Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no.
@InternetHippo: EARTH: Let's just be friends MOON: Ok I understand [circles the earth for 4 billion years]