@dankmtl: Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!
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@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?
@SteveSackington: If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher, where would you hide it?
@MsReyda: Men always criticize our big ole purses but stay asking us for something out of it. "U got gum?" "Give me some lotion" "Hold my gun"