@GoldenSpirals: Confuse the cable guy when he finally shows up at your house by telling him he'll have to wait outside until your favorite TV show is over.
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@david8hughes: [at the mall] "I've lost my son. Can you make an announcement for me?" "Sure, what's his name?" "Xander." "See, that's why he ran off."
@Amusitr0n: Pizza Hut Employee: I'm sorry but we don't deliver bog grass. I'm not even sure what that is. Moose: [incoherent bellowing]
@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late