@GoldenSpirals: Confuse the cable guy when he finally shows up at your house by telling him he'll have to wait outside until your favorite TV show is over.
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@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.
@jwoodham: The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.