@viadear: Confusing the word, "jacuzzi" with, "yakuza" has gotten me in hot water with the Japanese mafia more than once.
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@fridaycandy: At a job interview: "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start?"
@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.
@ItsAndyRyan: GYM Man: "Can you spot me?" Me: "Sure" Man: *Throwing down towel* "Invisibility cloak my ass"