@Home_Halfway: Congrats on your new baby. I remember a night where you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and crapped yourself. Glad you're raising a child now.
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@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
@Karate_Horse: [robbery in progress in the store I'm at] *quickly remembers training from karate school* *bows to robber* *is kicked in head so hard*