@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?
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@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"
@causticbob: My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album.
@electrolemon: to discover what's going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors
@SuSuSuDonym: Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.